I am tired of Covid-19. Just tired. I really had enough. When the virus broke out in America, the government told us that it will be fifteen (15) days of lockdowns to reduce the spread of the virus. Fifteen (15) days has turned into fifteen (15) months. While we are/have not been in actual lockdown for fifteen (15) months, with all the restrictions in place, it feels like we have been. I live in a building that requires that we wear a mask in public places and I hate having to put it on my face every time I leave my apartment. I know I had the virus and tested positive for anti-bodies, yet I still try and be a good sport about it and be respectful to those that are more vulnerable and fearful. Yesterday I walked into the Club Room in the building with the intention of working in that room as I had to get out of my apartment for my sanity. There were two (2) senior gentleman that were trying to figure out how to use a smartphone. It was his first smart-phone and he could not even turn it on. I helped him set up the phone and then spent three (3) hours showing him how to properly use it as well as downloading useful apps for him. The time spent was well worth it simply to witness his enjoyment when he was able to play his favorite music on You Tube with a few clicks of the button. When I realized how much time had passed and was cognizant of the reason for coming to the room in the first place, I excused myself to go and do my work. The gentleman wanted to thank me for the time I spent with him and offered to take me out to lunch/dinner. I politely declined. He then offered to go and buy me a sandwich and eat with him and the other gentleman. I felt obliged to accept the offer. He left with the other gentleman to go buy the sandwiches and I went to take care of some things in the interim. At one point I went downstairs to the front desk to pick up some packages that had arrived for me. While waiting for the elevator, the two (2) elderly gentlemen walked off another one. They informed me that they were going to the "soda machine" to purchase beverages and that they would be eating down there. I thought we would be eating in the Club Room where very few people enter, but I was not going to make an issue of eating downstairs in the lobby area as they indicated that we would be eating in the section with tables that no one has to come within fifty (50) feet of us unless they would be going to the soda and/or candy machine. If someone was to be going to the soda and/or candy machine they would be no less than fifteen (15) feet of walking past us. I had not eaten with anyone in any setting for over twelve (12) months, and assumed, that if it was okay for people to attend restaurants and eat together in small groups, no one would have an issue with us sitting together and having a sandwich together. Boy was I wrong! I was starving and the meatball sandwich that the gentleman had bought from a local "Wawa" hit the spot. We engaged in conversation while eating and was thinking to myself how much I missed such a small thing like sitting together with another person and sharing a sandwich while shooting the "breeze." A gentleman and his wife were leaving the building to go for a walk and the gentleman spotted us sitting together and eating. He took a few more steps towards the door and was half way out, when he decided it was his civic duty to ensure that we not have any enjoyment and to give us a lecture on how we were endangering the lives of him, the members of the building, the State of New Jersey, the United States of America and the inhabitants of the planet earth. He stood there with his two (2) masks and face-shield jumping up and down like an ape getting incensed and going crazy as to why we were not immediately putting our masks back on despite eating. He called the security guard to make us leave and the security guard refused to get involved. He then went to pound on the door of management and when the manager was unsure what to do, the fellow called the President of the Condominium Association. He was yelling and screaming to the President who told him that if he felt we were endangering people he should call the police. While I think it would have been amusing to see what the police would have done, I decided it had gone on long enough and I pulled the mask across my mouth and nose, packed up the rest of my sandwich, grabbed my half-full can of Pepsi, bid the group farewell and returned to the isolation of my studio apartment. Later that day, a letter was posted on my door notifying me that if I am seen again in a public area without my facemask on, I will be fined. The incident had killed the good mood I was in after doing a good deed and eating like a normal person for the first time in over a year. So much for doing a good deed.... So much for being courteous and accepting an invitation to eat.... So much for feeling normal.... In my opinion, I feel we need to take into consideration the mental toll the restrictions are having on our lives. I have found myself constantly having verbal conversations with myself which I do even while outside and walking as I don't have to feel self-conscious about someone seeing me talking to myself. I have debated with myself just this morning whether I will be able to stop talking with myself once things turn back to normal. The debate occurred after I looked in the mirror and yelled at myself to stop talking to myself. I am now unsettled, manic and in a terrible mood and will likely end up taking a sedative and lying down to watch t.v. for a short while which will turn into six (6) hours of bed time and then I will get out of bed in the evening and be all upset at myself for wasting the day. When I get out of bed in the evening, there is a good likelihood that I will be angry at myself and start pacing back and forth talking to and berating myself for wasting the entire day, work myself into a manic state and then try cleaning up my place and preparing dinner while getting frustrated at myself for the amount of time it is taking me to do routine housekeeping. Once I am down this road to being full-blown manic, cleaning my place and preparing dinner will take hours because with my inability to focus and energized state I will just be going back and forth endlessly chasing my tail. By the time I am done, I will be so miserable that whatever time it is, I will convince myself it is late enough to take my night meds, knock myself out and call it a day. Sometimes I am lucky that the next day is a totally new day for me mentally and emotionally, but sometimes I am not so fortunate and the mood could last for days or even longer. I wonder if the guy who yelled like crazy over me eating without a mask yesterday has taken a moment to pause and reflect on how his behavior may have affected me. Clearly he has mental and emotional issues and should be able to identify with what I may be going through trying to cope with the Pandemic. I am tired of Covid-19. Just tired. How much longer can I endure this mental and emotional torture. It pales in comparison to what I experienced when I had the virus. I don't know what the science they tell us to follow actually is, but I can state with certainty that the science will reveal devastating impacts the consequences of government actions had over mental, emotional, educational social and economic issues that will be present for years or even decades after this craze subsides (I don't see this virus ever being eliminated). In my opinion, Governments need to stop operating in a vacuum with the end-goal being to minimize amount of Covid-19 cases and even deaths and take into consideration what the overall impact will be. Has anyone in our governments factored in the tens of millions of people around the world that will suffer and even die of starvation in several years due to long-term economic consequences of artificially sustaining economies by running money printing machines non-stop. Just look at what happened to the price of Bitcoin. We now have a global currency which is fixed and can not be increased by artificially pumping freshly minted unbacked currency into our economies. Is it a wonder why the price of Bitcoin has skyrocketed over the past 8-10 months? I can only imagine the devastating economic impact an inverse collapse of major world currencies will have. I have oftentimes wondered and debated with myself whether there would be a major de-evaluation of the U.S. Dollar by printing excessive new dollars if the rest of the world is following suit by printing money while their citizens remain home. Now, in writing this, it has become clear that it could as we now have a currency that could replace the U.S. Dollar as the worldwide currency. Legal Disclaimer - I am not an economist and the above is me just musing and having a conversation with the one person that may have continued typing this far along. Yes, I am full-blown manic. Welcome to my head. Welcome to my life. I am tired of Covid-19. Just tired.