Resolutions My New Year’s resolutions are to lounge upon the couch. To spit out things like okra and permit myself to slouch. To make the famous Guinness book for days without a bath. To get the A’s in recess that I’ll never get in math. To seldom raise my hand in class and try my very best to fake convincing illnesses the night before a test. To trade my lunch away when I have liverwurst on rye. To clean my bedroom thoroughly on days that start with Y. To gather fuzzy lint between my toes for several weeks. To run from Aunt Petunia when she tries to pinch my cheeks. To stay in my pajamas for as long as I can stand. To learn to burp the alphabet the way I’ve always planned. Experience has taught me well that I will have success with all my resolutions if I simply strive for less.