When we do not feel that we are worthy of happiness, we cannot possibly feel worthy of the good things in our lives, the things that bring us happiness. Because we do not believe we actually deserve them that they could really be ours we fear their loss This fear causes actual behaviors that lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy: our fear of loss creates actual loss our feelings of being unworthy of happiness in fact lead to unhappiness. To avoid the devastation of a loss, we exclude the possibility of any gain. We fear the worst and thus, from the outset, deprive ourselves of the best.